Thankfulness...

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving....such a wonderful holiday, such a wonderful reminder.  But to tell you the truth, I don't know why we need a National Holiday to remind us that we should be thankful for what we have and for those around us.  I think that we all should be thankful everyday.  My mom always tells me, when I'm feeling upset or down about something, that before bed each night we should think of all the things in our life that we are grateful for, and the things we are upset about will seem much less significant.  She is a wise woman.

I think that our society has become consumer driven, selfish, and gluttonous.  This holiday that is supposed to be about appreciating our family, our health, and what we have seems to have turned into a holiday that first results in people seeing how much they can eat, and then becomes a marker for the 'best shopping deals' of the year. 

I am thankful, and I want those around me to realize how very lucky we are to just be able to be citizens of this wonderful country.  We are able to sit down at a table filled with foods, while others in the world dig in dumpsters, and pray that somehow the water that they are drinking will not make them sick.

As a parent, I hope that I am able to instil thankfulness in my children.  But living in America is hard.  I lived overseas most of my childhood, in poor third-world countries, so I was able to learn how lucky I am to have food, shelter, clothing, and love, but sometimes I wonder how it is even possible to teach these virtues in a country that is so consumer driven, egocentric, and materialistic.  But how can you blame Americans?  We have never seen anything else.  Maybe it should be a requirement in our schools to make it necessary to visit another place where water doesn't come out of the faucet clean and safe.  I don't know and I am very worried.

I think this year we will start with something small...we will ring the bell for the salvation army. I think that we should all pay it forward this year...and good things will happen :)

And baby makes...FIVE!?

So,  its official.  Matt and I are going to be parents again, and Emma is going to be a big sister!  We have known for sometime now, but were waiting for our first appt for the big announcement.  We are very excited, but I think I am WAY more nervous this time around.  With the first one, the only child I had to model a baby's behavior on, was my friend Caitlin's son, Dylan.  Dylan was the most excellent baby of all time...he slept well, played well, never cried, took the boob, took the bottle, and was all around great.  I thought all babies would be like Dylan...that was until...EMMA ROSE!

Emma was colicky, up all night, wouldnt take the bottle, and my God, I love that girl with all of my heart.  I just don't know if my sanity can take another colicky baby!  But I shouldn't worry, because there is NO WAY this one is going to be colicky...right?  Ok good.  Thats what I thought.

Ok, lets go back to the OVERJOYED emotion.  We stopped 'preventing' pregnancy in June, and got pregnant in October.   I didn't think that it would happen so quickly or easily.  We are truly fertile and blessed.  Emma and baby will be 2.5 years apart.  Hannah and baby will be 13!! years apart....crazy!

Our official due date is July 5th 2010, making me 8 weeks pregnant today. We had an ultrasound and saw the heartbeat on the screen today.  It was wonderful.  I do have a hematoma on my uterus that could cause some bleeding, but most are resolved on their own.

Well, thats today's news :)

Our last 3 Novembers together

My sweet Emma Rose is getting so big!!

2007

2008

2009

What happens while you're making plans...

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if it went exactly as planned.  Just a few years ago it was obvious that I was going to graduate from college, find a job that I loved and was secure in, become more secure in myself, find my prince charming, get married, and then perhaps after a long honeymoon stage, have children.  If my life had went according to that plan, I would hopefully be somewhere between the find prince charming stage, and the honeymoon sage. 

Now looking back at that plan, it's quite hilarious.  I graduated college, got a job I hated, got knocked up, became a nanny, became a 'step-mom', became a mother, got a job that I am semi-secure in but have absolutely no prospect of advancement in, and went crazy.  Notice how the whole 'get married' part was somehow lost in translation?  And now there are things happening in my life that are going to alter the whole plan even more!

But you know what.  Even though life didn't happen like I planned, I am so truly blessed.  I have found out a lot about myself in these last few years.  I met the love of my life, and although we aren't married, and I don't know when that is going to happen, I know that we ARE going to make it.  I have a bonus child who is such a sweet and caring girl, and who I hope my own daughter grows up to be like.  And best of all, I have a beautiful, sweet, caring, hilarious, spunky, silly and independent almost-two year old daughter, who is the light of my life and I couldn't imagine life without.

It hard to even think about what my life would be like right now if she hadn't been brought into the world.  And when I think about what it would have been like, it makes me sad.  Yes, I wouldn't have had sleepless nights, and months of a colicky baby girl pulling on my boobs.  I wouldn't have permanent dark circles around my eyes from lack of sleep and sanity.  My body perhaps wouldn't be as stretched and saggy.  But I wouldn't have all the joy and love and happiness that being a mommy brings.  I would never had learned what it feels like to rock a baby to sleep.  I wouldn't know how amazing an open-mouth kiss is from your one year old.  I wouldn't know how proud it feels to see your child take their first steps.  It is the hardest, yet most rewarding thing that ANYONE will ever do in their lives...and I recommend it to everyone :)

Trick or Treat (at a glance!)

Here are a few pics from Halloween!

Emma as a PINK MONSTER!

My sister Anna, and Hannah as Rosalie and Alice Cullen

My cousins (Caleb - Rockstar, Nate - Vampire) and Emma Rose!

Anna, Mom, Aunt Bobbie, Hannah, Caleb, Emma and Nate!

Emma loving my Aunt Bobbi :)