Engaged!

Yes, you read that right.  Matt and I are finally engaged!  I know...I couldn't believe it either, and I am so happy!

On Sunday the 29th, Matt suspiciously took Emma shopping with him, and made it very clear that I couldn't go.  It was strange.  Very strange.  But I knew he was up to something, and I was pretty sure that the something was going to buy an engagement ring (since there were big sales going on around Black Friday!).  Well they weren't gone very long, and Matt came up with a story that Emma wanted to get out of her stroller, and how could he possibly shop with a crabby baby, and all he came home with was a Barnes and Noble membership card for Hannah.  So I was kinda bummed, but this wasn't the first time that I suspected something to no avail!

But a few hours later, Matt took Emma down to the basement to change the laundry, and when they came up Emma was holding a little box!  I was very surprised and instantly got teary eyed.   Then Matt came over and got down on one knee and asked me if I would marry him.  It was perfect and sweet and very 'us'.  I of course said yes :).  I loved how he involved Emma.  It was wonderful.

Thankfulness...

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving....such a wonderful holiday, such a wonderful reminder.  But to tell you the truth, I don't know why we need a National Holiday to remind us that we should be thankful for what we have and for those around us.  I think that we all should be thankful everyday.  My mom always tells me, when I'm feeling upset or down about something, that before bed each night we should think of all the things in our life that we are grateful for, and the things we are upset about will seem much less significant.  She is a wise woman.

I think that our society has become consumer driven, selfish, and gluttonous.  This holiday that is supposed to be about appreciating our family, our health, and what we have seems to have turned into a holiday that first results in people seeing how much they can eat, and then becomes a marker for the 'best shopping deals' of the year. 

I am thankful, and I want those around me to realize how very lucky we are to just be able to be citizens of this wonderful country.  We are able to sit down at a table filled with foods, while others in the world dig in dumpsters, and pray that somehow the water that they are drinking will not make them sick.

As a parent, I hope that I am able to instil thankfulness in my children.  But living in America is hard.  I lived overseas most of my childhood, in poor third-world countries, so I was able to learn how lucky I am to have food, shelter, clothing, and love, but sometimes I wonder how it is even possible to teach these virtues in a country that is so consumer driven, egocentric, and materialistic.  But how can you blame Americans?  We have never seen anything else.  Maybe it should be a requirement in our schools to make it necessary to visit another place where water doesn't come out of the faucet clean and safe.  I don't know and I am very worried.

I think this year we will start with something small...we will ring the bell for the salvation army. I think that we should all pay it forward this year...and good things will happen :)

And baby makes...FIVE!?

So,  its official.  Matt and I are going to be parents again, and Emma is going to be a big sister!  We have known for sometime now, but were waiting for our first appt for the big announcement.  We are very excited, but I think I am WAY more nervous this time around.  With the first one, the only child I had to model a baby's behavior on, was my friend Caitlin's son, Dylan.  Dylan was the most excellent baby of all time...he slept well, played well, never cried, took the boob, took the bottle, and was all around great.  I thought all babies would be like Dylan...that was until...EMMA ROSE!

Emma was colicky, up all night, wouldnt take the bottle, and my God, I love that girl with all of my heart.  I just don't know if my sanity can take another colicky baby!  But I shouldn't worry, because there is NO WAY this one is going to be colicky...right?  Ok good.  Thats what I thought.

Ok, lets go back to the OVERJOYED emotion.  We stopped 'preventing' pregnancy in June, and got pregnant in October.   I didn't think that it would happen so quickly or easily.  We are truly fertile and blessed.  Emma and baby will be 2.5 years apart.  Hannah and baby will be 13!! years apart....crazy!

Our official due date is July 5th 2010, making me 8 weeks pregnant today. We had an ultrasound and saw the heartbeat on the screen today.  It was wonderful.  I do have a hematoma on my uterus that could cause some bleeding, but most are resolved on their own.

Well, thats today's news :)

Our last 3 Novembers together

My sweet Emma Rose is getting so big!!

2007

2008

2009

What happens while you're making plans...

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if it went exactly as planned.  Just a few years ago it was obvious that I was going to graduate from college, find a job that I loved and was secure in, become more secure in myself, find my prince charming, get married, and then perhaps after a long honeymoon stage, have children.  If my life had went according to that plan, I would hopefully be somewhere between the find prince charming stage, and the honeymoon sage. 

Now looking back at that plan, it's quite hilarious.  I graduated college, got a job I hated, got knocked up, became a nanny, became a 'step-mom', became a mother, got a job that I am semi-secure in but have absolutely no prospect of advancement in, and went crazy.  Notice how the whole 'get married' part was somehow lost in translation?  And now there are things happening in my life that are going to alter the whole plan even more!

But you know what.  Even though life didn't happen like I planned, I am so truly blessed.  I have found out a lot about myself in these last few years.  I met the love of my life, and although we aren't married, and I don't know when that is going to happen, I know that we ARE going to make it.  I have a bonus child who is such a sweet and caring girl, and who I hope my own daughter grows up to be like.  And best of all, I have a beautiful, sweet, caring, hilarious, spunky, silly and independent almost-two year old daughter, who is the light of my life and I couldn't imagine life without.

It hard to even think about what my life would be like right now if she hadn't been brought into the world.  And when I think about what it would have been like, it makes me sad.  Yes, I wouldn't have had sleepless nights, and months of a colicky baby girl pulling on my boobs.  I wouldn't have permanent dark circles around my eyes from lack of sleep and sanity.  My body perhaps wouldn't be as stretched and saggy.  But I wouldn't have all the joy and love and happiness that being a mommy brings.  I would never had learned what it feels like to rock a baby to sleep.  I wouldn't know how amazing an open-mouth kiss is from your one year old.  I wouldn't know how proud it feels to see your child take their first steps.  It is the hardest, yet most rewarding thing that ANYONE will ever do in their lives...and I recommend it to everyone :)

Trick or Treat (at a glance!)

Here are a few pics from Halloween!

Emma as a PINK MONSTER!

My sister Anna, and Hannah as Rosalie and Alice Cullen

My cousins (Caleb - Rockstar, Nate - Vampire) and Emma Rose!

Anna, Mom, Aunt Bobbie, Hannah, Caleb, Emma and Nate!

Emma loving my Aunt Bobbi :)

"Parenting" a 12-year-old at 26.

Sometimes it's strange to be a 'parent' to a 12 year old.  Especially when you are only 26.  I was 14 when Hannah was born.  FOURTEEN.  Thats nothing.  I was right out of 8th grade when Matt was welcoming his first born into the world.  My biggest worries were if my mom would start letting me wear makeup in High School, and when Mariah Carey would come out with her next album.

My brother Jake and I are 11 years apart.  Which is only 3 years different from the age difference between Hannah and I.   Technically Hannah could be my sister.  And if she was my sister, I could act more like I act when I'm around my siblings with her, but I can't because she is not my sister - she is my step-child - and apparently its not acceptable to punch your children when they are acting like idiots. (which I so do with my brother).

So, needless to say, being a parent-figure to a 12 year old is sometimes very difficult for me.  I love Hannah like she is my own child, but technically she couldn't even be my own child, so I think my brain is having a hard time distinguishing the difference between her and my 15 year old brother. :)

For example:  Since becoming a mother, I've developed a new habit:  Cleaning.  I guess its a good idea to maintain a sanitary and tidy environment for your children to avoid germs, tripping hazards, and laziness.  Well, this new habit has been a long time in the running.  I was the girl who used to let my dog lick off my plates and sleep in my bed.  I only did laundry if absolutely necessary and thought it perfectly acceptable to throw all colors of clothing in the same load.  Who cares if they were ruined? Perfect excuse to go shopping, right?  So, back to the story.  Every single day, while I'm 'enjoying' my cleaning, it seems that I find nasty, smelly, sweaty, balled-up, pink-toed socks on the living room floor.   SERIOUSLY.  I'm not even exaggerating.  And time after time I have requested that the socks be picked up, and they eventually are.  But they always end up back in the same spot the next day.  It's seriously enough to make me go mad.  I'm not even kidding.  And these are the times that I have to try my hardest to remember, that Hannah, who is only 3 years younger than my brother, is not my sibling, and its not ok to go right over to her and punch her in the arm as hard as I possible can and yell, "GOD DAMMIT PICK UP THOSE NASTY SOCKS".

Haha...It sounds really funny right now, but its not.  And its hard.  And I'm doing my best. Hannah is such a sweet, smart, caring and all around great kid.  I hope I don't mess her up too much.

Terrific Tuesday :)

It's Tuesday.  A terrific Tuesday actually.  Matt and I had a really great conversation about certain things that are definitely going to change our lives.  And I can't wait.  I also can't tell...but you will find out.  Hopefully sooner than later.

Emma was the funniest little thing last night.  Matt said that when he picked her up from his mom's.  She was running around the house, screaming "running, running, running."  Our little ball of energy and spunk.  When Matt brought her home, she was the same way.  Crazy, funny, and smiley.  It's hard to believe that she was our colicky, crying, baby. 

I'm so glad all of that is over.  I love Miss Emma Rose so much, and its hard to believe that she is the same baby that would cry for hours on end, that I would have to rock/bounce to sleep every day, that would only accept being put down if it was in her swing, and that was just sometimes.  Poor sweet girl. 

She is now a full blown toddler.  Mastering more and more phrases each day.  When we 'read' books, I will ask her where the tree, or the flower, or the moon is, and she will reply "right there".  She also asks questions such as, "Where dadya go?" or "Scoutie, I dunno?".  She is becoming very particular with what she likes to wear.  Most days we must have "tiiiights", and "bows" (for her hair), and she is choosy about what shoes she wears, as well as her coat.  She is independent, which is great, most of the time.  And she knows what she likes. Which I admire...most of the time.  The only problem is when her independence and preferences go against what Momma or Dadya know whats best. :)

Being a mom is the best.  I love it. I can't wait for more :)

Our life in PICTURES...

Monday Musings.

So its Monday.  Yes, it is Monday again.  I wish it was Friday, but I guess I shouldn't be wishing away 5/7th's of my life.  I'm so excited for Halloween with the kids this weekend.  Hannah and Emma each have the CUTEST costumes.

Emma is a PINK MONSTER:

and Hannah is ROSALIE from TWILIGHT:

This year we are going on the annual Halloween Parade through Matt's sisters neighborhood.  It is the best place to go trick or treating.  Middle-class neighborhood with LOTS and LOTS of kids! Our crew is usually quite the group.  This year its our family (Matt and I, Emma the monster and Hannah the vampiress), Matt's mom, brother in law and 4 kids (Grace - Hannah Montana, Quinn - "Dude", Claire and Tessa - Ladybugs), my mom,my aunt and her 2 kids (Nate - still uncertain at this point, and Caleb - "Rock Star").  It should be a good time, and I can't wait for Hannah's 'haul'.  (There's a reason to put the candy on top of the fridge and only allow 2 pieces/day - and the reason is MOM AND DAD's enjoyment of the holiday as well. Matt and I like to pick all of the good stuff out first!)

Speaking of candy.  I seriously need to lay off.  Fat is not hot, and I'm getting there.  My 'fat pants' are even getting too tight.  I don't know if my body is trying to 'store up for winter', or I'm just that big of a pig, but I seriously CAN'T STOP EATING. 

Wait...maybe my pants are shrinking and my scale is a LIAR!!!!!! 

I'm going to blame the media on this one.  Seriously.  Is it really necessary to have 3 Culver's commercials per every episode of  "enter favorite show here".  Shouldn't they know that American's are weak, and advertisements like this are going to make more and more of us end up so fat that we can't even get out of our beds...seriously.  I need to stop, or this could be me.  I need to exercise.  And I need to start eating healthy. ( and I hate exercise, and I hate eating healthy). 

Wow.  Halloween, could not come at a WORSE time this year.  Wonderful. :)

Tantrums, baseball, and summertime.

Tantrums... yes. Our daughter who is not even 2 yet, is the master of the tantrum. This just started a few weeks ago, and she has been having up to 4 a day. She screams at the top of her lungs, arches her back, head dives backwards onto the floor, rolls around, cries, yells. Sometimes they are pretty entertaining. I guess the best method to stop these tantrums is the 'ignore it' method, but to me it seems like she is getting more worked up when we don't acknowledge her. I guess this is just the first step :)

On another note, Hannah started swimming on the Monona Swim and Dive team. She has already had 2 weeks of swimming after school from 5-630 and so far we think she really likes it. Its every day all summer for 1.5 hours, and then meets are on the weekends!

Matt is finally done with baseball and with that I hope that normality can return in our house? Now what I am most worried about is when school is out. It's going to be great to have him home all the time, but I'm worried that he is going to go crazy. I'm also kind of worried that there will be too much TV watching and not enough outside time. I'm ALSO worried that he will start to resent me and the kids from being home too much. I suggested that he take one day a week to himself and send Emma to daycare still, but he didn't like that idea. We will see how it goes. I am really lucky to be with a teacher who can stay home in the summer, but I just hope he doesn't go crazy with the kids all the time. And I hope I don't expect too much.

Well I guess thats all for today. I need to write in here more often, but I forget! Plus, some things just seem insignificant, but I should remember that this is a way to document the girls growing up!

Hannah turns 12!

How fitting that this is my first blog. Hannah Marie turns 12 tomorrow, we can't believe it! Last night I went shopping with Anna to pick out some neato presents for her.

Our first stop was target, where I got her WAY too much stuff. I just love shopping for the kids and getting them stuff, but I don't want to go overboard and spoil.

I got her a few things for her bedroom. A really cool lamp that matches her bedding, a soft fuzzy blanket for cuddling up with a book. I also got her a PINK hairdryer and a new straightener for our house (since the one she used to have at our place is always at her moms, and her mom is to broke to even buy her a $20 hair straightener. But thats another story, and I won't go there!)

Then we went to the mall and got her some stuff from Aeropostale, because apparently, thats where all the 'cool' middle-schoolers shop. I got her some jean capris, a jean skirt with black leggings, and some tops. I hope she likes it all!

Emma Rose is just a hoot lately. She is walking like crazy, and TALKING. She learns so much from Claire and Tessa, her 22-month-old cousins. She is saying things like "get me, get me", and is starting to say 2-3 work phrases like, "hi mama", "no no dada", and other stuff like that. It't just so cute. She is also starting to get to the point where she is very affectionate. She always wants to give hugs and kisses to Matt, Hannah and I, and she likes to snuggle. I love her.

In the spirit of Hannah's birthday, here are a few pictures from Hannah a few years ago, and now, and also one of Emma, just because she is cute :)

What a cutie pie!
Hannah at 7

Now she's just too cool :)
Hannah at 11

Sweet angel

Emma at 1